this human

I am Laurenne. Rhymes with hen.

I can’t live without sweatpants, olives, blueberries, one-liners, poo jokes, cold club soda, fluffy socks, truffle oil, the beach, oversharing at girls’ nights, a good set of pecs and a beard, alone time, Scrabble, and cheese.

I am a vegetarian who hates salads.

I came out of my mother’s vagina.

I’m from a Chicago suburb where it was looked down upon to NOT go tanning. In the tanning booth.

I live almost on the beach in Venice, CA now. I wear lots of sunscreen.

If you sit on my bed with your street clothes on, I will hex you.

I went traveling around the world for most of 2009. Every day, I think about doing it again.

I’m one of those annoying girls in yoga pants who carries her yoga mat around Santa Monica.

I’m also the weirdo eating Taco Bell in her car on the side of the road.

I often have stains on my shirt.

I think the funniest part of humans is that we don’t really realize we’re all so funny.

I write TV commercials for a living, but I’d rather just write this blog.

I may or may not be naked right now.