Questioning Christmas

Did Joseph ever doubt Mary? A little bit? “Hey, I’m, uh, a virgin but I’m pregnant. It’s God’s baby though. Swear.” Come on. Has anyone on Maury Provich ever tried that one? Do farmers who actually sleep in barns with animals hear the story of Jesus’s birth and say, “So what?” Did Jesus get any […]

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For Sale: 3-bedroom house. Close to great schools and racists!

Last year I wrote about my home-selling heartbreak. The house where I formed into being was going on the market. I found it painful to say goodbye to the tree that was planted on the day I was born and the street I can feel with my eyes closed in the backseat of my mom’s […]

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Yeah, eight dollars.

This week was weird. I have since been fired from the cubicle I so feared last week. It wasn’t because I said derogatory things about said cubicle. It was simply because I am a freelancer and they didn’t need me anymore. That’s also what they said that one time I got fired on the spot […]

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Just do it. Is that taken already?

They say that when you want to really see something, you should step away from it and come back later. I’m not sure they really meant ‘cubicle’ when they said such things. But I’m gonna say that’s exactly what they had in mind, those they. After seven long, glorious months, I have, my friends, returned […]

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Happy Black Friday!

I realized yesterday that Thanksgiving is quite an American holiday. We’re already known for overeating, and on this special day we get together so we can overeat in front of people. It’s just like every other day for me, but I normally overeat burritos. After the strangely delicious Tofurkey last night, I rushed to Target […]

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