Today I barfed in the parking garage.

At first I thought this asshole’s friends played a joke on him by defacing his dorky Mustang. But after close inspection, I discerned that Douchey McDouche (who works in my corporate office building and looks like Vanilla Ice) used an Exacto and a ruler to ensure that BOTH sides of his shiny convertible would read […]

click fo mo

Well, your bomber jacket is nice.

My office sent me to Milwaukee to look at a print ad and check its color. Yes, Milwaukee. Yes, to look at a color. It seemed like it would be an easy task, but of course the color was wrong and I needed to stay up all night to fix it. While driving through the […]

click fo mo

I’ll take 2 please. And a book of 12.

Since when is the post office giving the gift of life? What great news! Did they open a life-giving line? If so, I bet you have to wait a long time to get a life. And I bet if you’re waiting in that line, there aren’t any pens. I wonder if they give you a […]

click fo mo

I’ll never stop loving you, Steve Sanders.

Catalina and I just suffered through the new 90210. Those West Beverly kids have such spunk, don’t they? The only way it’s similar to the one I used to watch after styling my bangs and while talking on the phone with my boyfriend Adrian Diaz, who had also just finished styling his bangs, is the […]

click fo mo

Welcome to my Blaaaahg

I am starting a blog. A blaaaaahg. I’ve always had an itch to start one, but I never could find a reason to. I mean, who is really going to care what I have to say besides my mom, Mambert? She will show up often around here because she lends herself well to the idea […]

click fo mo

Next Entries →