IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: I’m renaming “wrap sweaters.”New name: “sweaters with long ends that fall into the toilet twice in a day”TWICE!Please spread the word. New name begins now.
I am back due to an overwhelming number of letters and hate phone calls. Ok, I’m lying. I don’t think anybody noticed I was gone for a week, but they will soon, as I have many hilarious tales from my high school reunion. Coming soon…
WHAT? No!Asian lady #1: What is the stupidest thing we can get Americans to do?Asian lady #2: Mmmm…. let’s see if we can get them to eat their own feces.Asiah lady #1: Nah. That would get gross for us.Asian lady #2: Let’s see if we can get them to have fish eat their foot skin.Asian […]
“How are you?”“Fine.”How are you?“Good.”How strange that we repeat this rhetorical question a gazillion times a day and answer it too, fooling ourselves into thinking people actually want an answer. The next time someone asks me, I plan to reply, “Well, I’m tired, really horny and I think I have a yeast infection.” Gotta shake […]