Day 8: Boy scouts try to light my fire.

Due to the pile of hate mail at my desk, I see that many of you are offended by my quoting of an Indian calling black people ‘blacks.’ Let me offer you solace by sharing that Indians are racist against everyone, including their own dark members. So stop sending letters (Just kidding. Nobody sends letters […]

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Day 7: I accidentally buy drugs.

I leave hippie town for the Himalayas. At the bus stop, a man begins the normal questioning. “From which country are you?”“USA”“Which place?”“Chicago.”“Oh. Lots of blacks there.”“Yes, there are lots of blacks, Indians, whites, Asians…”“Black people love cock.”“Excuse me?”“Yes, In Mumbai, it’s only the blacks with cock. Lot’s of cock.”“Well, that is the stereotype, I […]

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Day 6: Who really needs the whole 500ml?

I decide to upgrade hotels and give myself more comfort. I really need to sleep, so I splurge for a room with a TV in hopes that the BBC will lull me to slumber. 2 hours after check-in: “Sir, this TV isn’t working.”“Oh I know.”“Ok, well can you fix it?”“No, ma’am. That TV is only […]

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Day 5: I develop new passion to teach Indians how to aim.

I sweat through the sheets all night convinced I have Swine flu. At 8am, I get a frantic knock on my door. For a second I think it’s my fiance from day 1 coming to apologize and whisk me to his village which doesn’t have water but is surprisingly stocked with popsicles, antibiotics, and air […]

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Day 4: That alien guy from Spaceballs is in my stomach.

I become the sickest I have ever been in my whole life. Since it’s a hippie town, the only medicines in any pharmacy are herbal. Luckily I have a few days of emergency antibiotic. It pains me to imagine what could have made me sick. It might have been the fresh-squeezed street juice I drank […]

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