It’s here. F.

I’m about to enter the fourth decade of my life. Tomorrow. TOMORROW! I have tried unsuccessfully to halt time with my mind power. Remember how I wrote here about how it’s really no big deal and I’m ready to embrace it? Well, I changed my mind. I’m suddenly uncomfortable with the thought. I know: It’s […]

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Not cool. So not cool.

After an evening of country music at an 85th birthday party this weekend, I parked my car on Beverly Blvd. It was 11pm. I wouldn’t get out. I had driven 10 mph for the last 20 minutes… prolonging the drive as much as I could so I could just delay the entrance to my friend’s […]

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Lemon Circle Chinstrap Femur Glub Glub Glub

Are people ‘these days’ crazier than people ‘back in the day?’ I hate to ask this because it makes me sound like a demure old woman who still wears red lipstick and pantyhose and shakes her head at the new loony generation. Demure I am not. Fuck. So I’ve been rationalizing, convincing myself that we […]

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An apology to you, dear readers. All five of you.

Dearest blog readers, I would like to apologize for the lack of entries this week. I regret to inform you that my brain has been squeezed of its creativity this week at my new job and is currently void of all creativity, wit, and humor. I accidentally used it all during the days of Monday, […]

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Irony

I woke up in a cannon today.

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