When I was a teenager, I hated myself too.

My office sits in the center of 3rd St. Promenade, the tourist haven of Santa Monica. It’s a smattering of Western discretionary income, sunburned shoulders, and overpriced ‘American Food.’ It’s a beehive of buzzing consumers all vying for the best sale item at the Gap on their way down to the polluted beach. There are […]

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Sex at the Salad Bar

Thanks, friends, for your concerned emails and for looking at me with that signature head tilt as if I’m a Haitian orphan. It’s sweet. I get it. I sound lonely and pathetic. Two weeks ago I admitted to trolling the Craigslist Missed Connections and last week I wanted someone to hold my hand while I […]

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I’ll take three cheeseburgers, a Coke, and a large love

I’ve spent my career convincing people to buy things they don’t need. And in order to do this, I’ve lied. I’ve made teenagers think they had to have video games. And when I wasn’t sure if my lies would really ring true to them, I surveyed their peers and conned them into telling me what […]

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Campeones del MUNDO. El MUNDO! That’s huge.

I never get to brag about my ethnicity because I’m always unsure of it. I know I’m American, born in a sterile American hospital like the majority of us. But my father’s side is Spanish! I am half Spanish! And I really love that half. Because it drinks wine and eats tortillas and dances flamenco […]

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Let’s lighten up the mood in this bitch.

If you saw me in the street these past two weeks, you would never have guessed that I had just been reliving that whole father situation over here. Because, while it was emotional to write, I felt so relieved about getting it all out there. So, thanks for reading and commenting and emailing and supporting […]

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