I carried a watermelon? Peaches would have sounded so much better.

I did my second stand-up show ever last night at The World Famous Comedy Store on Sunset Blvd (I call bullshit on the ‘world’ part. I don’t know if people in Nigeria really know about this place, but that’s how they sell it to you when they ask you to be in a show that […]

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As long as they laugh, it’s all ok.

When I was 13, I was deathly embarrassed of my mom. Not because she wore puke green dresses and too big eyeglasses (she did). But mainly because, no matter where we went, she talked too much. It wasn’t just that she brought up the weather in every single elevator or complimented someone’s shoes in every […]

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Yes, this thing is on.

Today is big. It’s the culmination of summer nights spent indoors, neglected friends who think I hate them, and randoms in LA coffee shops who’ve helped me answer the big question: Is this funny? It’s my stand-up comedy debut.On stage.Under lights.In front of people. I have jokes that will offend the men I’ve dated, jokes […]

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The Paradox of Books About Paradoxes

I hate choosing shampoo. Or toilet paper or rice or jeans. I’ll even wear the same crusty boots into the ground because I can’t stand the idea of picking out new ones. The thought of making decisions truly immobilizes me. And with more and more to choose from every day, capitalism is causing me to […]

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5 days. 17 emails. I have a stalker. And validation.

I have a stalker. And I have to say I feel pretty good about it. Nothing like a stalker to fix up the old ego. I’ve never really had any out-of-line unwanted male attention except for in Cancun, and everyone knows that doesn’t count. I’ve always been a bit offended that I’ve never been raped. […]

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