Text Fiend

My phone fell into the toilet. With just the unbuttoning of my pants, a miniscule splash warned me of its plunge from my back pocket. My super-fast reflexes got it out within seconds, but the device fizzled to its untimely death. Dead phone. Read the rest of the article on The Next Family.—>

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I banged that chick last night. She smelled like fruitcake.

I was about seven when I heard an off-color joke I didn’t understand. My mom explained it as politely as she could. “Well, Laurenne, some men like to joke around and say that a woman’s private parts smell like fish.” Aaaaand that was the beginning of a very long paranoia about the scent of my […]

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This post is for Blog Nerds only.

This blog is one of my favoritest things to do in the whole world. It’s the reason I stayed in a beach bungalow in Malaysia and never came out of my bungalow. It’s the reason my relationships fail and why I never go out ever. But that’s okay because I love it and I choose […]

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Funny Human: The Eighties Leighdy

The eighties were a fine decade. I was there. I admit they existed. I had a Caboodle and holey jean shorts. Sadly, I wasn’t old enough to partake in all the free-flowing cocaine and dollar bills I hear mentioned when someone daydreams of the eighties. I also missed out on the music so often played […]

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Love! Love! Love!

Sometimes I’m on the fence about whether real love truly exists.I mean, it must. That’s why there are lots of chocolates and cards sold today. Because people are in love. I’m also on the fence about whether or not I’ve ever felt this love stuff. I mean, when I’m in it, I believe that I’m […]

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