Home is where the drive-thru cigarettes are. Revisited.

There is a FOR SALE sign in the only yard I’ve ever known. Eeek! Since I’m staring at it through the window of my old room, I thought I would re-post this essay from December: Home. Home is sometimes in a backpack. Sometimes in my head. Sometimes in California. But always in Addison, Illinois. It’s […]

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If you were a Mayan, I would thank you. But not on Facebook.

Do unwanted hairs have abandonment issues? Why did Charlie Brown go bald at such a young age? Where are these millions of people who watch Two and a Half Men? I’ve never met one. When are people going to get over that 2nd amendment thing? Is it better that you feel safer or is it […]

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Happy Father’s Day, Mom

Dear Mom on Fathers’ Day, I think it’s only fair that you get a celebratory hug today too. You may have a vagina and you may not possess the other usual characteristics of the stereotypical dad, but in many ways you’ve been a better dad than many. You bought me a skateboard and a pogo […]

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Thx Again

Thank you to all who commented and left gratitude over here Tuesday. I think I’m a glass-half-fuller even though I agree with my friend, Rahul, who says you should never judge a glass half-anything unless you know what’s in it. I also take pleasure in being cynical and my favorite color is black. But as […]

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If you win this book, I won’t be jealous of you either. Swear. Not me. Nope. Don’t get jealous. Not at all.

My first job out of college was writing TV commercials for Jack in the Box. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but I pretended I knew exactly what I was doing. I couldn’t admit I didn’t know anything because there was another girl who started around the same time and she seemed to […]

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