Thank you to all who commented and left gratitude over here Tuesday.
I think I’m a glass-half-fuller even though I agree with my friend, Rahul, who says you should never judge a glass half-anything unless you know what’s in it. I also take pleasure in being cynical and my favorite color is black. But as I sat in the hospital Tuesday with my friend who was heading into surgery, we read all of your beautiful pieces of gratitude. I’ve never been so happy in a hospital before. Thanks for that. It was truly an amazing day. I even cried a little, you bastards.
I have decided to show my gratitude for your gratitude by donating another book to the contest. I bought a signed book for my mom, whose nickname is Mambert. I don’t know why we call her that, but we do. I don’t know why I just said ‘we’ when I don’t have any siblings. (There’s still time, mom– one sister. Pleeeeeease? What do you mean you’re 65? So what. There are fertility pills.) She will never know if I send her book to one of you instead. All you have to do is scratch out ‘Mambert’ and write in your own name. Or, you could change your name to Mambert. Totally up to you. But, just a warning: if you do change your name to Mambert, you won’t be able to get a personalized license plate in Illinois that says ‘Mambert’ because my mom already has it.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way, let’s pick from this hat.
(I’m making a drum roll with my lips. FYI.)
The first winner of the book addressed to you and signed by Leah Dieterich of thx thx thx is:
Maring. She said:
Dear mornings i walk out of the house with baby puke on me and smelling of baby pee,
Thank you for the respect I now have for mothers everywhere and the unity I feel in disheveled appearances.
And the winner of Mambert’s book (who might soon be named Mambert if she or he is so inclined):
Travelin’ Chick She said:
Dear iPhone, Thank you for the many things you do to help me; get to my next appointment, remember my sons Kung Fu lessons, finds a deal on shoes, find a Starbucks, get a flight, call my mom, connect with a long lost friend, read a blog for the first time in bed while I have to pee but can’t get up because its so funny…thank you…and that was all before 7:30 this morning!
-going pee now
Hooray! I don’t know either of these people, which is great because I’d already planned to defend our random selection process if my friends had won. Maring and Travelin’ Chick, may you enjoy your beautiful books of thanks. And, Mom (Mambert), sorry about your now lack of book. If I’d have gotten a sister, maybe things would have turned out differently.
{ 3 comments }
I will have to buy the book. :( I wanted to win.
What happened to my comment? I left one, I really did and it was REALLY FUNNY. But now I forgot it. Anyways, I laughed at this post. And Lol’d even.
Two Mamberts would be crazy! But the original Mambert will always be Mambert to me.
Dammit. I missed a giveaway?!?! My damn job started blocking blogs and now I’m having a hard time keeping up outside of work. Bastards expect me to work at work. The nerve! Now I missed out on a book giveaway. I wanted a book. I be readin’ bookses sometime. Oh well. Sad face.