An apology to you, dear readers. All five of you.

Dearest blog readers,

I would like to apologize for the lack of entries this week. I regret to inform you that my brain has been squeezed of its creativity this week at my new job and is currently void of all creativity, wit, and humor. I accidentally used it all during the days of Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. In an effort to impress my new bosses, I gave them all that I had, leaving you, poor reader, with nothing. This was truly an accident. I thought I would have been able to create a blog entry on Wednesday evening or on Thursday, but that is when I noticed that all the jokes had been used up. Please note the language I am choosing right now. I am not even a bit funny. I have begun several entries, one in which I poked fun at 420 and the people who celebrate it. I wrote a bit about the people at parties who compete for the prize of ‘Dude Who Smelled the Weed First.’ I was referencing those certain folks who think they have street cred when they say, ‘Oh shit, somebody’s smokin’ the [insert newest hip term for weed these days]’ in an attempt to let everyone know that THEY know what weed smells like. I don’t really like those people, so I felt it would be great to call them out on 420. Sadly, it was the last joke my brain was able to generate, and the rest of the entry fell flat. I also tried to write essays about Chia pets, Kate Gosselin, and Stegosauri (I believe that is plural of Stegosaurus but not sure.). Neither of these proved funny. I sat in a café and listened to cliché dialogue. While hilarious, it did not help. I stared at several walls, which also did not help. I test drove a Honda Civic and never brought it back to the dealer. This also didn’t help. I have learned that nothing helps when the resources are completely depleted. I’m sure there is an environment joke I could be using after that last sentence, but as you can see: all humor is gone. Sadly, I am faced with an entire blog-free week. I figured no one would notice, but I received an email yesterday from someone who called my blog a “snoozefest”. Therefore, I am writing to acknowledge the problem and assure you that all creativity is replenished weekly. Everything should be back to normal on Monday. Until then, my darling readers… until then. In the meantime, would anyone like to buy a Honda Civic?

In case this horribly unfunny entry has bored you:

This chick has also experienced writers’ block.

This guy wears T-shirts sometimes and seemed to have quite a fruitful week (he must not be working very hard during the day).

This man is drawing every person in New York. That’s pretty ambitious.

This article says that I might have caused all the recent earthquakes, but leaves me wondering why there aren’t more tremors around Halloween.