Is anyone sitting there?

I am in Saigon! I have managed to travel the whole of Vietnam without writing really anything about it! Before I do a big upload of pictures and stories, I have to share a quick one about my ride here in a sleeper bus.
Yep, a sleeper bus. I am a true backpacker now. My hair is matted, I am wearing those weird diaper pants that travelers wear, and I save money by sleeping on buses.

Anyway, the bus was traveling down a pot-holed highway at a pretty intense speed. In Vietnam, there are no traffic rules so drivers make their presence known by honking their horns. This happens every few seconds. Sitting in the first row, I realized that such a policy does not make for a very relaxing night of sleep. On a sleeper bus.

So, I gathered my belongings and crept towards one of the empty bed/seat things in the back. The driver saw me. I know he did. Yet, he took that moment to slam on the breaks, sending me flying toward the windshield.

With my backpack under one arm, and my prized i-pod and Lonely Planet tucked under another, I could not grab at any seat or limb to keep me in place.
So I closed my eyes.

I sailed down the aisle of the bus, taking flight along with several water bottles and shoes. When most people describe moments like these, they say it seemed like slow motion. But it didn’t. It was fast. Like a bowling ball. Or a jet. Or something else that goes down an aisle or runway and is really fast.

In a nanosecond, I had broken my fall. Not on a railing or a window or even a passenger’s stinky foot. Instead, my body had landed bent in half, arms carefully cradling my material things and butt firmly planted atop the bus driver’s head.
I sat on the bus driver’s head.
I did.
And I did it wearing really dirty pants that had sat on several stoops and streets that day.
I could feel his wiry black hair through the thin fabric. But i couldn’t move. The law of inertia is a stickler.
The man didn’t like it. In fact, he screamed at me. And his friend yelled too. Something in Vietnamese. And all i could do was apologize in English, waking everyone up.

Finally, I was able to scramble to the open seat in the back where I silently laughed myself to sleep.